This part of the series is all about the various foods and products I used and continue to use in my ongoing management of candida. I have also included a couple of my recipes and some tips on how to spend as little as possible. There are lots of people taking advantage of the candida epidemic and making loads of money out of your poor health because they know you are willing to pay big dollars to restore it. Read on and you will discover that you don’t need their quick fix potions and products.

Coconut oil
Coconut oil is my absolutely favourite product because it is so multifunctional and it is a category all on its own. It is also a favourite on the market and I almost choke when I see the price for some of the organic cold pressed oils. I was recently at a yoga show and there were several stands selling coconut oil. One woman spruiking that she was selling the only oil that comes from India. She was also asking for about 20 pound a kilo ($40AUD).”Is there some reason why oil from India is any more special than the other?” I asked.
“Yes” she replied patronisingly “It is higher in lauric acid. Do you know what lauric acid is?”
Yes I know what lauric acid is but I do not believe that a coconut from India is any more potent than a coconut from the Philippines or Africa. Honestly, I have used the more expensive extra virgin oils but now that I’m feeling better I’ve switched to buying coconut oil from the Chinese supermarket which is a third of the price.
Lauric acid is a medium chain fatty acid that is broken down into a compound called monolaurin in the body. Both Lauric acid and monolaurin can kill microbes like bacteria, fungi and viruses. Thus it effectively kills candida and the other wonderful thing is that candida does not build up a resistance to coconut oil like it can with other antifungals. Coconut oil also contains caprylic acid which is another powerful antifungal that also helps normalise the acidity in your stomach.
Coconut oil is resistant to high temperatures with a very high smoking point, so it is perfect for cooking. I use it for all kinds of frying and baking and save my olive oil for salads where I know it won’t deteriorate as it does when heated.

I use coconut oil as a moisturiser on my face, body and in my hair. I use it as a massage oil. it is perfect because it is non-toxic. I use it as a lubricant. I use it for vaginal thrush. Listen up ladies and gentlemen because this example proves that the cheap stuff works. I used coconut oil as a lubricant when I had thrush and it killed the thrush. As you know sex should be avoided when you have this issue but if the man smothers his member in this amazing natural product you will be rid of the itchy curse. This is just the greatest discovery ever. A lubricant that kills thrush!Ladies, if you don’t have a partner to assist you in such a way the other option is to freeze it in a small ice cube tray and then insert them when they are hard. I actually saved some of the applicators from canestan and have filled and frozen these. I don’t use canestan anymore. If your baby has oral thrush, I can only imagine that using this natural product would be preferable to any chemical anti-fungal the doctor prescribes.

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Anti-fungals  

Apparently candida can build up a resistance to most anti-fungals so it is suggested to rotate between these every one to two weeks.

Cinnamon. Recent research has proven that this is a powerful and effective antifungal and has shown results for people suffering from intestinal candida. I add this to my yogurt or porridge everyday.

Ginger is so versatile and can be boiled for a tea or added to juices, soups, stir-fries or any dish really.

Grapefruit Seed Extract is a broad spectrum natural antibiotic that inhibits a variety of pathogens and  including yeast and is active against fungi. The inner rind of a grapefruit is also effective, its just that the manufacturers of products tend to only make the extract from the seeds. When I have a citrus craving I buy grapefruits and eat the white inner rind and I can feel the benefits immediately. Grapefruits are also high in vitamin C so it is a great fruit to eat on a regular basis and it is low in sugar so a good choice if you suffer from candida overgrowth.

Oil of Oregano is a potent essential oil useful for killing and inhibiting candida albicans. I bought mine at a healthfood store in Australia but couldn’t find it in Italy. I put a few drops of this is a teaspoon of natural yogurt in the morning. It tastes disgusting but this was a quick and easy way to get it down and then I would eat my breakfast immediately after to get rid of the taste.

Olive Leaf Extract is an effective antifungal, in addition to having anti-parasitic, antiviral and bactericidal properties. Research has shown that Olive Tree Extract contains almost double the antioxidant capacity than that of green tea. It is easy to find in most health food stores and even supermarkets. If you have access to olive trees and want to save money, dry out the leaves and make a tea.

Pau D’Arco or Lapacho comes from the bark of a South American tree and is a proven natural antibiotic and anti fungal that boosts the immune system. When I was in Argentina I was buying shopping bags of it for $2AUD but in Western countries you will pay a lot more. You can buy it in capsule form in the west but I prefer to make a tea from it in its raw form. However both are effective.

Raw Garlic is one of the cheapest and most effective way to reduce and prevent candida overgrowth in addition to boosting your immune system. Candida cannot build up a resistance to raw garlic. Raw garlic is also great for your digestion. I break the garlic into tablet sized pieces and swallow it like a tablet. If I stink no one has complained and I don’t care anyway because it works. Whenever I’ve overindulged and can feel a mild tingling or other sensations signalling the overgrowth of candida, I head straight to the garlic. Not only is it cheap but its easy to source in every country. There is no pharmaceutical better than garlic. Forget the poisonness flu shots and eat raw garlic instead. It is an anti-fungal, anti-viral, anti-bacterial perfectly natural medicine that will boost your immunity.

Tumeric is considered to be the most beneficial spice in the world. Google it to discover all the benefits. In relation to candida, turmeric contains curcumin, which research has shown completely inhibits the growth of candida albicans. If you want to add this to your meals, add it after you have finished cooking to ensure that you don’t kill off any of its potency. Only a small amount is required; 1/2 teaspoon each day is sufficient.

Beneficial Foods and Spices

Ashwaghanda means ‘the smell of the horse’ in Sanskrit. Its namesake is not because it smells like horse or makes you smell like a horse but because it imparts the vigour of a horse. I learned about it in India and have been informed that it is a much more powerful immune booster than spirulina. Its also much cheaper. I stir a teaspoon into one of my savoury meals each day (e.g. soup).

Blueberries are low in sugar and high in antioxidants. I allowed myself about 5 each day in my yogurt.

Kefir is a natural probiotic made from milk. They drink a lot of this in Eastern Europe for digestive health and because it is delicious. It is also much higher in probiotics than yogurt.

Kiwifruit is a great prebiotic which should be eaten in conjunction with probiotics as the prebiotics are the food for the probiotics. The skin holds all the beneficial prebiotics so buy organic and eat the skin. The flesh of course is also beneficial as it is very high in vitamins.

Liquorice is anti inflammatory, anti allergenic, anti-bacterial and supports the liver. It also helps heal leaky gut as it supports the body in maintaining the protective coating and strengthens the mucous coating that protects the stomach from too much acid. Its also excellent for those who suffer from stomach ulcers. Look for sugar free liquorice or one sweetened with agave syrup. You can also buy liquorice tea.

Oats help to cleanse the colon and intestinal tract and are also contain prebiotics which help rebuild the micro-organisms within the intestinal tract. I didn’t start using oats until recently because I only just learned of their prebiotic benefits so you might try them in the early stages of your healing but if you react then cut them and wait until you have the candida more under control. I also recommend only buying organic oats that are not heavily processed.

Pumpkin seeds are high in Omega-3 fatty acids, which have anti-fungal, anti-viral and anti-parasitic properties. They also reduce inflammation which can be a symptom of candida overgrowth. They are also an easy to carry around snack.

Spirulina is an algae that is a complete protein containing all the amino acids. If I were vegan or vegetarian I would definitely be incorporating this into my diet everyday. While on a restrictive candida diet it is also a wonderful food source. I would stir a teaspoon in my yogurt each morning to boost my immunity and energy.

Walnuts are known as the king of the nuts because of all the health benefits. They are full of antioxidants, essential fatty acids and are very good for your heart, brain and have cancer fighting properties. They are another great snack to carry around. Unfortunately the best part for you is the bitter skin of the shelled walnut.

Other Beneficial Discoveries

Bicarbonate Soda is great for alkalising the body and candida does not like an alkaline environment. I accidently discovered the benefits of this one when travelling in Ireland. I was trying to be good and ordering soup but it always came out with this delicious looking brown bread which I couldn’t resist. I waited for the dire consequences but nothing happened. In fact I began to feel better. My bowel movements were better than ever and I felt more energised. Regular bowel movements are especially important when you have a candida overgrowth because candida will feast on whatever waste is hanging around.    I looked up a recipe for this Irish soda bread and learned that they use bicarb soda to make the bread rise. Thus the bread is yeast free and because it is using wholegrain flours, it is full of fibre and is relatively good for you. I then researched bicarbonate soda in relation to candida and uncovered a lot of interesting information.  There are a lot of people with cancer who are using this as their main form of treatment and are having results. I’ve read about people whose cancer has cleared up all together. There is also a lot of interesting theories about the link between cancer and candida. Apparently every cancer cell has the presence of fungus.  Bicarbonate of soda is the cheapest thing you can buy and has a million uses. Make sure you buy yours aluminium free. Make sure you have it on an empty stomach because you don’t want to inhibit your stomach acids when they are digesting foods.  I used a teaspoon mixed in a glass of water with a squeeze of lemon first thing in the morning and again in the early evening at least one hour before dinner.

Essential Oils of Clove and lemongrass  are both anti fungal but more importantly, they can cut through the biofilm that candida uses to protect itself. This Biofilm is also referred to as the chitin layer and it is very difficult to break down and the main reason why candida is difficult to destroy. I mix these oils into coconut oil at a ratio of approximately a drop of each per tablespoon and I then stir a tablespoon of this into my porridge or yoghurt each morning.

Essential Oil of Geranium has a whole range of benefits but I use a drop twice a week in a glass of water to help support my liver when I know it is dealing with excess toxins from die off or poor diet choices. My favourite yogi store in India put me onto this and also peaked my curiosity to research essential oils and that is how I discovered lemongrass and clove oil.

Please ensure that you only ingest pure 100% essential oils and be aware that they are potent so you should only use small amounts. Many sites recommend you seek the advice of a professional before ingesting essential oils. I didn’t but I recommend you do what YOU feel comfortable with.

Probiotics and Prebiotics

Probiotics and prebiotics can be sourced in food and in supplement form. During my intense healing period I used a multi-strain one prescribed my a naturopath. This contained saccharomyces boulardii which is actually a tropical strain of yeast but is useful for helping move the candida out of the body. Look for a high potency multi-strain probiotic that contains this as well as L acidophilus and B.bifidum. If you can’t find the combination then buy it separately. Make sure each capsule contains at least 10 billion.

Prebiotics as I mentioned feed the microflora  and assist in their proliferation in your body. You can buy these in capsules but they are easily found in many foods including onions, garlic, bananas, chickory root and raw apple cider vinegar which are all acceptable on a sensible candida diet. Probiotics can also be found in foods such as kefir, natural yogurts (read the labels before buying) and sauerkraut.

Please note that if you are suffering from severe die off symptoms then back off the probiotics for a couple of days. I went crazy at the beginning not caring how much I suffered as I just wanted to kill the candida and be well ASAP. Now I don’t think this is such a good theory. I now think you should take your time and  not make yourself sicker by overloading your body with toxins. You are going to feel worse before you feel better but you should be able to lift your head off the pillow. Remind yourself that you are making permanent changes in your life and that this needs to be done slowly so your body and mind can adapt to these changes with as little stress as possible.

MY CONCOCTIONS

Breakfast Yogurt 

• Natural Greek yogurt that contains probiotics
• Five blueberries
• One tablespoon coconut oil (if this is melted it will harden when you mix it in the yogurt which puts a delicious tasting texture all through the mix)
• One teaspoon spirulina
• Pinch cinnamon
• One-two tablespoons of flaxseed meal
• Handful of walnuts, pumpkin seeds and/or almonds.

Method                                                                                                                                                                                           Mix it all up for a delicious green yogurt. If you can’t handle the taste of the spirulina then I suggest you buy capsules; I got used to the taste. If I was using oregano oil I would put a few drops on my first teaspoon and quickly follow this with another teaspoon to get rid of the taste.

I now no longer use oil of oregano but the lemongrass and clove coconut oil mix instead. Now that I have my candida under control, I also have other fruits and granola but I would avoid these in the early stages. Stay cautious until you feel well again.

Banana and coconut bread

• One ripe banana
• One cup coconut
• One cup almond meal
• One cup flaxseed meal
• One or two eggs
• One cup of natural yogurt
• Almond milk/coconut milk or water – as much as you need to get the batter nice and moist.
• One teaspoon cinnamon
• One teaspoon bicarbonate soda
• Squeeze of lemon to activate the bicarb

Method                                                                                                                                                                                                 Mix it all up and cook it in a moderate oven for about 40 minutes until it is ready. To be honest, I don’t really follow a recipe I just chuck all the ingredients in and get the texture right. If there is any old fruit lying around, I add it as well. This is not amazing but when you are in the early stages of the diet you are craving something with a bread like texture and this does the trick. Try it and you will probably be inspired to create your own. There are loads of things you could add like leprqcmon or lime zest, ginger, seeds etc.

Coming UP

I still want to discuss the power and importance of yoga but in the meantime can I recommend that you start practicing yoga if you are not already. If you know nothing about it, then find out about. Yoga is not just an exercise its a way of life and involves movement, breath, cleansing techniques, nutrition and meditation. All of these are very beneficial for candida and I consider this to be the key element of my healing and management of candida. I feel very strongly about this so please for your future health and happiness, find out more and start practicing some of its elements. Even if you just begin with the sun salutations A and B each morning followed by a few other poses. Make sure you pay attention to your breathing and learn some pranayamas if you can. Lastly please get on youtube and try out Yoga Nidra. I promise you, it will change your life and the best bit is you don’t need to do anything but lie down and listen to the voice.

I will write more about this in my next blog but don’t wait around for me. This is your life. Reclaim it today and don’t get sucked into all these marketeers trying to profit from your illness. This is your life, your body and you are in control. Use what nature has provided and combine this with your own self awareness. I promise you will be able to join me for the occasional  glass of wine or slice of cake in the not too distant future.

Management is the Key

After battling candida for 18 months and reclaiming control over my gut and my energy, I have decided I should share my story to assist others. Recently, a few friends and acquaintances have approached me about how they can advise people close to them who are suffering and this has been the impetus for this piece. I want to stress that I am only sharing what has worked for me and my opinions and theories based on my experiences. I don’t believe I have found a cure for candida and I don’t believe there is one. I believe that it is about managing the candida that has always existed in our bodies and that has a necessary place in our bodies but not in numbers that make us feel bad. Thus, this blog is all about how I have learned to manage it and how you can too. When candida overgrows it completely absorbs all your energy. Not only do you suffer from chronic fatigue and a whole range of other symptoms, mental, emotional and physical but the only thing you can think about is how to get better. Life as you knew it has gone you will try things that you never would have tried before in order to get your life back. I’m going to inform you right now that you will never get your old life back but you are going to gain a newer better life.

A Gift or a Curse?

You many not believe it now but if you choose to open your mind wider, you will eventually come to see the candida curse as a gift. Of course at this stage you are probably finding that difficult to believe but I assure you, you are sick because your body is telling you that you need to take better care of yourself and as I type these very words tears are welling in my eyes as I recall my own self neglect. We all have different stories but maybe we share more similarities than we realise. Perhaps we are all people who have repressed our emotions; who haven’t allowed ourselves to express anger, grief or negative emotions for fear of not being the perfect person. Perhaps we have all taken on guilt that we don’t need to have for things that we shouldn’t even feel guilty about or even if we did do the wrong thing we need to forgive ourselves and let it go. Perhaps we tolerate the negativity and unkindness of others because we see the best in them and believe they can change. My advice is get away from these people; you cannot help them an as long as you are around tolerating their unpleasant behaviour they are never going to help themselves. Don’t ever tolerate unkindness from others if you have a choice. The world is full of kind people; get together with them and generate more love make the world a better place. Perhaps you, like I did, avoid facing reality by overworking and seeking pleasure from drinking and eating. This is only contributing further to your illness. You need to change your life and you need to change today! Is it easy? NO, but I promise you, (as more rushes of emotion overwhelm me), it is worth it. I am the healthiest and the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.

Self-Diagnosis, Self-Healing

When I first got sick, I didn’t know what was going on; I felt like I’d been hit by a bus and I was all alone in a country where few people spoke English. I could barely get out of bed and I was overcome by dizziness when I did. I felt emotional, lacked clarity in my thinking and at times my thoughts were so irrational that I wondered if I might be going mad. I did not know where to go for help so I started googling all my symptoms and diagnosed myself with candida overgrowth. Now of course, like you, I went in search of a quick fix. I wanted to know how to rid myself of this beast so I could return to my normal life. Let me be clear, there is no quick fix and you will never return to your old lifestyle. Instead you are going to change your lifestyle and begin a new and better life. I’ve read and tried just about everything . I was on my world trip and had plenty of time to read, especially when I was confined to my bed. In the past 18months I’ve had 12 months holiday and I have read and cross referenced a wealth of information from blogs, forums, medical sites and product pitches. I have noticed that the amount of online information is growing so I can only assume that so is the candida epidemic. Some of the people asking me for advice are down to less than ten food items they can eat without a reaction and have been told by their doctors that there is nothing that can be done for them and they will have to remain on a restrictive diet for the rest of their lives. WHAT?!  I am not so surprised by this attitude because the doctor I visited turned her nose up in disbelief that it is even possible for Candida to grow in the stomach. She was not long out of university and I guess she has only heard of Candida in the form of vaginal thrush. Modern medicine is not going to help you; you are going to have to help yourself. Forget pharmaceuticals; forget the miracle cures and magic pills that are plugged on the internet; I’ve tried some of these and they didn’t work.  You have got to go back to nature, natural foods and the true nature of yourself.

Where to Begin?

I’m going to start with the steps I took when I was at my worst phase. This was when, after having been on a strict diet for six weeks, I actually felt the worst I’d ever felt. I’d been on a diet free from all kinds of sugar (including fruit), grains, all dairy (except natural yoghurt) and only vegetables free from starch and low in sugar. I was drinking only purified water and herbal teas and taking probiotics and antifungals such as oil of oregano and olive extract. I had been this restrictive and I was now unable to eat anything without getting a reaction. As soon as I ate I felt bloated, fatigued and had a strange sensation throughout my body. I have my own theory on this and it’s only a theory based on all the information I’ve read combined with my own personal experience. I believe I had developed leaky gut syndrome and I attribute this to my complete elimination of sugar. I believe that when you eliminate sugar completely the candida goes searching for it. It burrows holes in your stomach lining in order to access your bloodstream where it can find glucose and insulin. So now you have holes in your stomach lining which means that every time you eat, particles of food are able to escape your stomach and enter into your bloodstream and compromise your entire immune system and forcing all your organs to work overtime. After I healed my leaky gut, I allowed myself to eat fruits low in sugar and I began to feel better and the leaky gut did not return. Healing leaky gut is easy and incredibly cheap.  I did it, by first completely cleansing my colon with a salt water flush and then embarking on a three day bone broth fast supported by probiotic supplements and anti-fungals.

The Salt Water Flush

A salt water flush is a safe and effective way of cleansing the entire gastro-intestinal tract. The salt water flush involves drinking a litre of filtered water with two heaped teaspoons of pure sea salt dissolved in it. I use a one litre bottle and after adding the salt, shake it vigorously. Other people warm the water or add lemon to make it more palatable.  The salt solution has the same specific density as your blood and because salt and water don’t separate the kidneys will not collect the water and the blood will not collect the salt. Therefore the solution sweeps through your system collecting toxins along the way until it comes out the other end. The solution needs to be drunk after a period of fasting so first thing in the morning is best. Afterwards lie down on your right side for one to two hours. Try not to go to the toilet at the first urge otherwise you will be up and down. I try to hold on for at least an hour and then I find I get most of it out in the first sitting. I’ve read suggestions to do it on a day when you don’t have to go to work but I have found there to be no problems after two hours. So if you wish to do it on a work day just set your alarm early, drink the solution then go back to bed for one or two hours. After the salt water cleanse is complete, I have my first cup of broth with a strong multi-strain probiotic supplement. Probiotics should be taken regularly when you are battling candida but are essential after the flush because some of the healthy bacteria will be swept out with the rest of the sh*t.

The Power of Bone Broth

There is a wealth of information about the benefits of bone broth with accompanying recipes.  In short, bone broth is rich in valuable minerals which your body can easily absorb. These include glucosamine which is what heals your stomach lining. The gelatin in bone broth supports your digestive system which will really appreciate the extra support while battling leaky gut and candida overgrowth.  The bone broth is very easy to make and needs to be simmering for about 24 hours before you begin consuming it. All you need are some bones, these can be chicken, beef or other but I generally used beef marrow bones. I ask for them at the butcher and they will cut them into large pieces that will fit in your pot. In Australia it cost me about $2 for two shin bones cut into pieces; in Italy they gave them to me for free.  Put the bones in a slow cooker or a large casserole pot and cover with water. Add a good dash of apple cider vinegar which will help to leach the minerals from the bones. I then add some chunks of carrot, celery, onion, garlic and ginger. You can add any vegetables you like and I actually began keeping all my vegetable scraps (e.g.. carrot and zucchini ends) and saving them in the freezer for future broths. You don’t actually consume these so it doesn’t matter; they just add to the flavour. Bring the whole pot to the boil then reduce to simmering and just leave it like that for several days and keep adding water as necessary. Thus I would put my broth on the day before my planned fast and then kept it active for the following three days until I’d completed the fast. To serve the broth you just need a ladle and a strainer. Hold the strainer over your cup and ladle the broth in, then return what’s left in the strainer to the pot. The first cups are quite oily and difficult to get down. I persisted because I imagine there is some real goodies in the fat but if you can’t do it; just chill it then spoon the fat off the top.  This broth is like magic; it healed my gut and if you want to know more google it.

Re-introducing Foods

After the fast you want to reintroduce foods slowly. I started with plain Greek yoghurt mixed with coconut oil and spirulina. Read the labels and make sure the yogurt has probiotics in it. The coconut oil is a powerful antifungal and as far as I know the candida cannot build up a resistance to it. I started my day with this every morning and have only just recently switched to porridge because I’m living in a colder climate. I just put the coconut oil in my porridge but I no longer feel I need the spirulina. Soups and any other whole foods can then be reintroduced but go slow and don’t overwhelm your system too soon. Its your body and you need to listen to it. The second day after the fast, I added berries, flaxseed meal and walnuts to my yoghurt. I had eggs for lunch and vegetable soup (made with left over broth) for dinner. As you reintroduce more and more foods you will experience more and more sensations but perhaps these aren’t all negative it’s just that you are noticing your bodies digestion of certain foods more than you did before. What you have to be aware of is that you are now more sensitive and I don’t think that we have become more sensitive to foods but that WE have become more sensitive. WE have become more aware of our bodies and how they react to foods. Thus when we eat processed foods we are not necessarily feeling any worse than we did before, we have just become more aware of the affect this crap has on our bodies. So basically, stick to healthy whole foods as much as possible and you will be a healthier, happier person than you were before the candida overpopulated.

Next Episode

I was going to attempt to write this as just one piece but I now realise I have too much information to share. Thus this part is about the first step you need to take and in the next part I will list the various herbs and natural foods that I have used along my journey and others that I continue to use as part of my ongoing management of candida. I also want to discuss the benefits of yoga and the need to release repressed emotions and stress. If you have any questions, Please post and I will do my best to respond as soon as I can. Lastly please don’t let the candida get you down and don’t give up. You CAN get this under control and find true happiness and an abundance of energy,  just as I have.

Recently a Facebook friend posted on her status “Islamic pigs!! I got some next door I feel like bombing their house after watching 60mins tonight grrr paedophiles not a religion sick pricks”. I am a highly sensitive person and this comment upset me profoundly. I could not accept that such anger and hatred could be directed at the most likely innocent neighbours who would have to bear the wrath of many Australians because of their religious beliefs. I responded that we should try not to generalise because paedophiles have been exposed in other religions as well and we don’t victimise every Catholic or Anglican for this. We should also be aware that there are fanatical sects of every religion and they are not representative of all. In return I received an aggressive reply from a third person telling me to “open my eyes up” because they are the only religion that allows marriage to children and I should do some research about what’s going on in England. Her response finished with a furious c….ts!

I received and returned another response and her passionate outrage and my genuine need to defend who I believe are the innocent led me to doing some research on the internet and I was saddened, frustrated, disappointed, angered and shocked by what I discovered.
Firstly I couldn’t really find any positive objective information about Muslim practices concerning child marriage. Instead I found hard statistics about the horrifying numbers of child brides throughout the world and the numbers are increasing everywhere including western countries like England and the USA.                                                                                                                                            http://secularafrican.wordpress.com/2013/10/15/day-of-the-girl-observing-education-and-child-marriage/
http://wikiislam.net/wiki/Contemporary_Pedophilic_Islamic_Marriages                                                                                              http://www.cfr.org/peace-conflict-and-human-rights/child-marriage/p32096#!/

Obviously there is nothing positive about child marriage and I do not intend to write about all the cons but instead to provoke thought and positive action. In my opinion current affairs programs like 60 minutes provoke anger, outrage and prejudice; they play on the viewers emotions and do not encourage them to think objectively or constructively. On a positive note they do create awareness of these issues but it is not balanced and I am sure that many innocent Muslims become victims of physical and verbal abuse and bare undercurrents of unwarranted  hatred because of this. I hope for a future where people are less angry and hateful and more proactive and helpful. There is a multitude of major issues and problems in this world and I fear we have fallen into a pit of apathy. People simply express their indignance, make empty threats then forget about it and do absolutely nothing; myself included.

I chose to write about this today because I am driven by emotion and the emotions of others in my community. I want to uncover more evidence that not all Muslims are condoning paedophilia and child marriage. What I would like to see is more Muslim groups and individuals coming forward and speaking out against child marriage like the Facebook group  ‘Muslims against child marriage’ have done. I would like non Muslims and Muslims to come together and put pressure on Islamic leaders to make clear that it is not acceptable to marry and have sexual relations with a minor. The behaviour of the prophet Muhammad does not need justifying or defending; it was wrong. http://www.answering-islam.org/Quran/Contra/marriage_age.html He violated his own command and it is not an example that should be followed. Also the command stated that a girl should not engage in sexual relations until after she has reached puberty. The average age of puberty has dropped significantly since then to 10 or 11 years of age.  http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puberty  Clearly the mind of this pubescent body is still that of a child and Islam needs to get with the times. The Catholic pope condoned the use of condoms to prevent the spread of aids and Islamic leaders need to cap the age of marriage to at least 16 years.

This is just one idea that has arisen because of a debate that took place in the comments section of a friend’s Facebook status. Every ripple creates a wave.  Can you imagine the scope of constructive ideas if we embarked on positive proactive discussions. I urge Muslim people to come forward and get involved in these discussions. Speak out against child marriage, demonstrate your values and stop the growing tide of hatred against you. Do we have to be so segregated? I think not. I am tired of defending you and I don’t even know you, but I’d like to. 🙂

 

Four months ago I said farewell to my boyfriend of ten years, my two wonderful step-children, the warm community and climate of beautiful North Stradbroke island and to my kind and caring parents and siblings. This was the hardest decision I ever made in my life. I felt enormous support from all of the above mentioned even though it was and still continues to be difficult for my ex. It is still difficult for me but I was unhappy and stagnant not only in my relationship with my boyfriend but also within my community. I needed to move. Staying in the one place for long periods of time doesn’t suit me. I wanted new sensations to breathe life back into me. I also needed to get away from the repression of my boyfriend and rebuild my self confidence and esteem. I had hoped for ten years that things would change. I’d spent the last two years toying with the idea of leaving. After observing my situation, the depth of my unhappiness and the absence of improvement, I decided to go. On New Year’s Day I broke it to my boyfriend. Man……that was painful and took all the strength I had to keep my resolve. Yet within two weeks I booked my round the world ticket, gave my employers notice and informed the kids, my family and my friends. I continued to live with my boyfriend and his teenage children for the next nine weeks. This was emotionally draining for us all but the love of my life wanted me to cohabitate right up until the day I left. This was convenient for me as it enabled me to work and save more while giving me plenty of time to pack all my things.
A week before I was due to fly to South America, I hired a car, packed it full with my possessions and drove 13 hours to my parent’s house in Mudgee, N.S.W. My 19 year old step daughter accompanied me.
I spent the last week spending time with my parents, siblings and beloved nephews and niece. By the end of the week I just wanted to go. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t even know what I felt, or how to feel. I just felt numb and I needed time out so I could process my breakup without the subjective opinions of all those who knew me well. I appreciated everyone’s support but I needed to support myself, love myself and feel strong in the decision I had made for myself, by myself. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I put so much energy into my relationships and work that I’d lost the essence of me. My spirit had been buried and I knew it was time for me to dig it back out. This was the beginning of my journey, a new beginning for me .

gypsydownunder

Sunset at North Stradbroke Island

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Sunset at North Stradbroke Island